Praying for Death

How do you respond when someone wishes you a good morning?

A typical response from me is usually something like, “I woke up on the right side of the grass so it is a good start.” As I grow in my faith I find myself asking if this is really the start I am longing for in my day. If I truly believe in my heart what I profess with my mouth the best start to my day would be to awake from sleep to find myself on the path to heaven.

Night Prayer in the Liturgy of the Hours ends with –

                “May the all-powerful Lord grant us a restful night and a peaceful death.”

For many of us, the death we long for comes in our sleep, as an old man, surrounded by the smiling faces of our wives, children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Peaceful, surrounded by those we love. I have come to realize that the request we make at the end of Night Prayer is one request, not two. Lord, please call me home to your side tonight while I sleep.

There is another saying many of us have heard. “Everyone wants to go to heaven. No one wants to go today.” Heaven is what we all long for as long as it comes a long way down the road. We all want to live full lives. For too many that is measured in the things we own, money we have, places we’ve been, and those we have influence over. Lives are measured in the material. Jesus, on the other hand, tells us that our lives are measured in the spiritual.

                “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. “And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. “He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it.” – Matthew 10: 37-39

Very difficult words for all of us to hear. If we choose anything over Jesus, even spouse or child, we are not worthy of life in heaven with Jesus. I have found a slightly different translation of this in the bible that no one disputes. It goes something like –

            “I am the LORD your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.  ‘You shall have no other gods before Me.”

If that vaguely sounds like the First Commandment that is because it is.  God gave that Law to Moses, who delivered it to the tribes of Israel. Jesus, the Law incarnate, reiterates this Law to his disciples. Or as it later says in the book of Deuteronomy, I am to love the Lord, my God, with all my heart, all my soul, all my strength, and with all that I am.

When I wake each morning I find that God has not granted me that prayer I pray at the end of the Liturgy of the Hours, yet. There is a reason why he woke me on this side of heaven that I may never come to know. There is a purpose for me being here today. As I meditate on the reason why I woke on this side of heaven the answer that I keep circling around in my head to is a simple one.

                “Be a blessing to all today. Allow them to be a blessing to you.”

God woke me this morning so that I can see Christ in those I meet today and be Christ to them.  Admittedly, this is something I have gotten extremely good at failing at. If people are not seeing Christ in me what are they seeing? I hope the worst they see is indifference but, as my family can tell you better than anyone, far too often they see the devil.

And perhaps that is why I awoke here this morning. God has given me another opportunity to repent, put on the armor of light, and go be Christ to those who see me today. Only by the grace of God is that even possible.

"Lord, come into my heart. Fill me with the light of your love. Let your light burn out all the darkness within me. Make me a lantern to carry the light of your love to all those still in darkness. And when they gaze upon that light may they see only you through me."

Go and be a blessing to all you meet and allow them to be a blessing to you.

Playing Dress-up

Recently the United States College of Catholic Bishops Committee on Clergy, Consecrated Life, and Vocations highlighted the importance of the deacon in the life of the Church from their annual survey in a tweet. Someone commented that the Church needs more priests and not empty nesters who like to play dress-up. In a later comment he went on to say that there is no coincidence that priestly vocations have collapsed at the same time as permanent deacon vocations soared.

The vocation of deacon is vastly misunderstood by clergy and lay alike. Even many deacons seem not to understand who they have been called to become. The permanent diaconate, at least in the United States, is always changing. It is not really evolving in as much as it is becoming better understood. The Church is two thousand years old and clarity comes to it over centuries, not years. The permanent diaconate in the United States was only restored in 1968. In Church time it is still in its infancy.

To understand why the deacon is important to the life of the Church we have to understand their two fold ministries of service and liturgy. Before we talk about the deacon let us start by understanding the role of the priest. Why do we have priests?

Jesus called the Twelve and bestowed his authority on them. They were the first bishops. As the Church grew the Twelve could not be everywhere at once. They ordained additional bishops to manage the new Churches, which became localities, which became what we know as dioceses. The bishop is the ordinary minister in his diocese. He is responsible for every soul residing in his diocese, Catholic or otherwise. His job is to offer sacrifice and prayer for all of the people.

A bishop cannot be in every parish in his diocese at once. Priests are the bishops’ stand ins in the parishes. Priests offer sacrifice and prayer on the behalf of the bishop in their parish. This is their primary ministry.

Bishops are also responsible for the wellbeing of the people living in his diocese. The original bishops found out early that they could not look after the well being of their flock and offer sacrifice and prayer at the same time. There just are not enough hours in the day to do it all. They ordained the first deacons as ministers of service. They were to look after the day to day needs of the people while the bishops offered sacrifice and prayer.

Deacons are ordained primarily as the agents of charity for the bishops. They are ordained so that they may receive ordinational graces to strengthen them in this ministry. Serving those on the peripheries is not an easy thing to do. To bring Christ and be Christ to those in most need can be both emotionally and physically taxing. Ordinational grace strengthens the deacon to go forth and do that which Jesus calls him to do. Without the deacon the responsibility for the well being for the people of the parish falls to the priest who is already overburdened with things besides sacrifice and prayer. The first bishops learned quickly that they could not do both at the level both required. The priest is supposed to take care of the people’s spiritual needs whereas the deacon attends to their physical needs.

The deacon has a secondary ministry when it comes to the liturgy. The deacon is the ordinary minister of the Gospel, not the priest or the bishop, even if it is the bishop of Rome, the Pope. When a deacon is present at a Mass it is his duty to proclaim the Gospel. The deacon is also the ordinary minister of the chalice. In a Mass where the host is being distributed under both species it is the deacon who distributes the blood of Christ. The secondary responsibility of the deacon in liturgy is to assist the priest wherever he needs assistance. In the Church one retains all of the authority to do the ministries below the one they are in. If there is no lector the deacon becomes the lector. If there are no altar servers the deacon becomes the altar server. If there is no deacon the priest becomes the deacon.

There is a theological purpose to the deacon in liturgy that is seemingly unknown to just about everybody. To understand it we have to realize what the Mass actually is in reality. The Church teaches that the Mass is a re-presentation of Jesus’ sacrifice on Calvary.  It is not a recreation. It is not a remembrance.  The Mass, in every respect, is a time machine that transports us to the foot of the cross on Calvary. We become physically present at Jesus crucifixion. To maintain our sanity our eyes are veiled from seeing the supernatural world that surrounds us. Every Mass, no matter how large or small, is part of the one true Mass offered once forever in heaven.

The ordinary minister responsible for offering the Mass for the people in his diocese is the bishop. Because the bishop cannot be present in every parish for every Mass the priest acts as his stand in. In this world the bishop himself is also a stand in. The bishop stands in for Jesus who is offering the sacrifice of the Mass, which is his body, blood, soul, and divinity. We say that the bishop/priest acts in Persona Christi, or in the person of Christ.

If we were to lift the veil on the supernatural and see the actual Mass we are a part of we would see angels to the right and left and surrounding Jesus at the altar. In our reality the deacon is the stand in for the angels. A Mass without deacons is a Mass without the visual representation of the angels. When a priest chooses not to use the deacon at Mass because he does not feel they are needed he is robbing the faithful of the fullness of what the Mass truly is. It does not matter if it is just a private Mass at which there is only one priest and one deacon or our highest solemnity, the presence of the deacon makes visible the angels who are only visible through supernatural vision.

It is true that the bishop/priest is the only one who can bring life into the Church. They are the only ones Jesus has given his authority to consecrate the host and unless we eat of the flesh of Jesus we will have no life within us. No priest, no Eucharist; no Eucharist no life. The bishop/priest is also the only one who can act as a conduit for the forgiveness of sin. Again, no priest, no absolution of sin; no absolution of sin, no life. The bishop/priest cannot be replaced. But, just as a car engine cannot run long without oil, the Church cannot run long without her deacons. This is the reason the permanent diaconate was restored in 1968, has flourished, and continues to grow throughout the world today. It wasn’t to give a bunch of old, empty nesters a chance to play dress-up.

Believing is seeing

“One who has seen God has, in the act of seeing, gained all that is counted good: life without end, everlasting freedom from decay, undying happiness, a kingdom that has no end, lasting joy, true light, a voice to sing pleasingly in the spirit, unapproachable glory, perpetual rejoicing, in a word, the totality of blessing.” - From a homily of Saint Gregory of Nyssa, bishop

What do you see? What do you truly see? Is this Jesus, body, blood, soul, and divinity or is it merely a piece of bread? The Catholic faith teaches that this is truly Jesus, as real as if he were standing before us on his own two feet. Jesus has made it possible for us to look upon the face of God on this earth without the fear of death. In the act of seeing we have gained all that is counted good. But Jesus does not stop at just allowing us to see him. Jesus has made it possible for us to take him into ourselves in the most intimate form of communion possible. Holy Communion, for a Catholic, is not just sharing a meal with each other in a remembrance of an act that happened long ago. Holy Communion starts by seeing the face of God and continues when we ask him to dwell within us when we receive the Eucharist.

I cannot think of a single thing that is closer to heaven on this earth. There is nothing greater I can give my life for. There is nothing I can receive that comes close to the gift of self from the King of heaven, God in the flesh.

Why is it then that attendance at Mass has been in decline for decades? Why is it then that so many have not returned after being relieved of their obligation to attend Mass because of the pandemic? Could it be that people only see bread being elevated by the priests? Could it be that people only see corruption and abuse in the priesthood? When asked why people leave the Church you will hear a plethora of answers. I don’t like the music. I don’t like the priest or the way he preaches. I don’t like the rules imposed or the Church’s opinion on this or that. I have even heard someone say that they no longer believe in God.

Jesus entered the world as a naked, vulnerable, innocent baby. Jesus left this world a naked, vulnerable, innocent King. He returns to us in what see as bread, just as naked, innocent, and vulnerable. Belief resides in the heart, not the head. It is belief in the heart that allows the eyes to see that which is true.

When you look upon the Eucharist what do you see? If it is anything but God in the flesh pray that God will enter your heart and fill you with his presence,  that in believing you might see, and that in seeing you may receive all things considered good.