Tuesday, October 13, 2015

The Glue that Binds us Together

Today I dropped my favorite coffee cup and broke the handle off of it. Hoping to restore it to its full usefulness I reached for my old standby – epoxy glue. If you have never worked with epoxy before it is a two part glue that, when mixed properly, creates a bond that is virtually unbreakable. Part A is the resin and part B is the hardener and they need to be mixed together at a 50-50 ratio. Too much of one or the other and the bond does not form as strong.

God designed marriage in the exact same fashion from the very beginning of creation. When you combine part A and part B, one man and one woman, together in a sacramental marriage a bond is formed that no man can break. Like epoxy, two part A’s combined or two part B’s combined cannot form this unbreakable bond. Only when combined in the way God designed can this unbreakable bond form.

Some of the more successful attacks the evil one uses appear to be based in logic and compassion. This is what we see when we look at the same sex marriage debate. For the most part, same sex couples just want to live their lives in peace with the person they love and are committed to and have that commitment legally recognized. This is fair, compassionate, and logical. There is a great need to have these relationships legally recognized and protected mainly because there have been great atrocities that have occurred because they were not. I have seen firsthand these atrocities occur so I stand in solidarity with same sex couples who seek to have their commitment legally recognized in the form of a civil union. This is both right and just and does not go against my faith or the teaching of the Catholic Church.

Those words will come as a surprise to many simply because the actual teaching of the Catholic Church is either not known or not correctly understood. It is true that we do not believe that same sex marriage is possible. God created marriage and designed it from the very beginning to be one man and one woman for life. At the same time this also means that the Catholic Church does not believe that divorce and remarriage is possible either. The Catholic Church does support committed relationships and people of the same sex loving one another. Indeed, we are commanded by God to love everyone and not only love them but have Agápe love for them. Agápe is the highest form of love. It is sacrificial. One is willing and many times does give up their life for another. Show me even one truly committed relationship where the people in that relationship do not have this type of love for each other.

I love my wife and children with Agápe. I love my friends and family with Agápe. I love my brother aspirants with Agápe. I will make sacrifices for them and even give up my life for them if called to do so. I am trying to love all people with Agápe but this is the hardest thing any of us can ever do. I can only be married to one of these people, my beloved wife. If I love all of these people with Agápe and I would give up my life for any of them why then can I not marry any of them? If marriage is only about love and commitment there should be nothing stopping me from doing so.

When it comes right down to it, it is all about sex. Two unmarried people, no matter their gender, who love one another and are living in a committed relationship to one another, that have not engaged in intercourse have not sinned. They are still free to receive the Sacraments if all the other conditions are met. Two unmarried people, no matter their gender, who love one another and are living in a committed relationship to one another that have engaged in intercourse have committed mortal sin. Mortal sin separates us fully from the saving grace of God and will result in our eternal death if we do not repent. This is why the Catholic Church is so animate about this subject and it applies to opposite sex couples as much as it applies to same sex couples.

Sex does not justify marriage. Sex fulfills marriage. When one man and one woman are bonded together in a Godly marriage they form a one flesh union. Even couples who cannot have children form this one flesh union. Same sex couples engaging in intercourse cannot form this one flesh union any more than mixing two part A’s or two part B’s can make epoxy work. This is by God’s design and not by man’s desire. If the marriage cannot be fulfilled with the one flesh union the marriage cannot be completed. Epoxy can only form glue when both parts are removed from their containers and mixed together to form one liquid. Marriage can only be fulfilled when one man and one woman come together in a one flesh union forming a bond that is unbreakable for life.

What the Catholic Church does and always will oppose is changing a definition God provided to one of man’s choosing solely to justify our desires. I want to marry whomever I will. I want to have sex with whomever I want. Putting desire before commandment is exactly what the evil one wants us to do. When we choose self over God we willfully separate ourselves from God and that is the end goal of the devil. God condemns no man to Hell. He finds us there by our own choosing.

Be a blessing to all you meet and allow them to be a blessing to you.

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