Johnny and Billie were playing catch in the back yard on a
sunny Sunday afternoon. Johnny was younger than his brother and couldn’t catch
as well. Billie teased Johnny about this and Johnny grew angry. When Johnny
could no longer take the teasing he threw the ball as hard as he could at his
brother. The ball sailed over Billie’s head and crashed through the kitchen
window. The boys ran to the front of the house in the hope that they wouldn’t
be caught. The boys’ dad came out of the house and looked at the window.
Shaking his head he went back into the house and nothing was ever said to
either of the boys.
When the boys came down for breakfast the next morning they
found the kitchen full of ladybugs. They were everywhere. They were on the
walls, on the table, even crawling on their pancakes.
“Where did all of these ladybugs come from?” Johnny asked.
“They came through the broken window.” Johnny’s mother said
with a grumble.
“The repair man is coming.” Johnny’s dad said calmly
Later that night Billie went into Johnny’s bedroom. “You
will be doing the dishes for me tonight.” Billie said to his brother.
“I will not.” Johnny replied.
“If you don’t do the dishes for me I will tell mom and dad
you broke the kitchen window.”
Johnny hung his head and went downstairs to do the dishes
for his brother.
The next night Billie visited Johnny again. “Tonight you
will take the trash out for me.” Billie said. Johnny knew better than to argue.
He just hung his head and took out the trash.
Wednesday night Billie told Johnny to walk the dog for him.
Johnny grew angry and exclaimed, “No I won’t”. He walked out of the room, went
downstairs, and found his parents.
“Mom, dad, I broke the kitchen window.” Johnny said through
tear filled eyes. “I am sorry.”
“We know.” Johnny’s father said. “I was in the kitchen and
saw you do it.”
“So what are you going to do with me?” Johnny asked.
“Son, we love you and we forgive you for breaking the
window. But it is still broken and you need to repair the damage you have
caused.” Johnny’s dad said both sternly and lovingly. “The repair man is coming
in the morning and it will cost five dollars to fix the window.”
“But I only have a dollar and a nickel in my piggy bank.”
Johnny said dejectedly. “I know, I counted it on Sunday.”
“Go get your piggy bank and let’s have a look.” His father
said with a slight grin on his face.
Johnny ran up to his room and brought his piggy bank to his
father. He pulled the plug out of the belly and began to shake the bank. Five,
one dollar bills spilled out onto the carpet. Johnny’s eyes got big and his
mouth hung open.
“I only had a dollar and a nickel in there, I swear!” he
exclaimed in disbelief.
Johnny’s father picked up the money and gave his son a hug. “I
will make sure the window gets fixed in the morning.” His father said. Johnny
hugged his father tight with a smile that went from ear to ear.
As Johnny ran back to his room his mother looked at his father and raised an eyebrow.
"I put the extra four dollars in there last night." His father said. "I figured he would break and admit it tonight."
A cornerstone in Protestant theology is “once saved, always
saved”. Many believe that Jesus died once for the forgiveness of all sins,
past, present, and future. Because all sins have already been forgiven there is
no need to confess them and seek forgiveness once you accept Jesus as your Lord
and Savior. Any transgression they commit has already been forgiven.
Sin is any thought or word, spoken or left unspoken, or any
action done or one we have failed to do that damages the relationship between
one’s self and God and God’s people. When one damages this relationship a debt
is incurred.
Forgiveness is a word that means “to let go”. God is love
and forgiveness is a fruit of love. In his perfect love for us God is willing
to let go of the debt we owe him when we sin. The key words here are “willing
to”. God is “willing to” let go of our debt. It is not automatic as the once
saved always saved people believe it to be. If Jesus died once for all sin
(which he did) why are all sins not automatically forgiven?
Forgiveness is a fruit of love but it is also a gift given
in love. For a gift to be effective the gift has to be accepted, opened, and
used. If I give you a gift for your birthday and you hand it back to me and
tell me you don’t want it you have not received anything. If I give you a gift
and you put it in the closet without opening it you have received nothing. For
my gift to you to be effective you have to accept it, open it, and use it.
Forgiveness is a gift given in
love. For forgiveness to happen we have to accept it, open it, and use it.
Another gift God has given us is our free will. God is willing to give us the
gift of forgiveness but he also respects our right to deny this gift, to shelve
this gift, and to not use this gift. The only sin God will not forgive is the
sin we will not allow him to forgive. This comes in two flavors; despair and
arrogance.
Despair happens when we believe
that our sin is so great that even God cannot forgive it. God is willing but we
cannot believe he can so the gift of forgiveness is never received. Arrogance
happens when we believe that we don’t need God’s forgiveness. Instead, many
times we believe that it is God who needs our forgiveness instead. In neither
case is the gift of forgiveness accepted and therefore the sin is never
forgiven. This is always by our choice, our will, and not by God’s. Once saved,
always saved violates the principle of free will for it denies the individual the
ability to reject God’s forgiveness.
Like with the broken window, although the debt of our sin is forgiven
there is still damage to be repaired. When the sin only damages our
relationship with God that relationship has to be repaired. God’s love for us
is perfect and cannot be damaged. The real repair work is on us and our side of
the relationship. This is done through penance. Penance is defined as voluntary self-punishment inflicted
as an outward expression of repentance for having done wrong. It is our way of
telling God our Father that we are sincerely sorry for what we have done.
Penance needs to be serious enough that it stands as a deterrent to us not co commit
the sin again but not so grave that it causes further harm.
In addition to causing damage to our relationship with God
our sins can also cause damage to the relationships with God’s people. For
example, if I lie to someone with the intent to defraud them I not only damage
my relationship to God by violating the eighth commandment but I damage my
relationship to the person I have lied to. I have to seek forgiveness from God
but I also have to seek forgiveness from the person I have lied to.
We are called to forgive as God forgives. Indeed, we are
called to forgive even if forgiveness isn’t sought by the person who harmed us.
In this case forgiveness actually serves two purposes. It does release the
person from the debt incurred by their action if and when they ever are willing
to accept our forgiveness. When we forgive we are also released from the
affects that sin can cause on us.
When someone sins against us it often creates feelings
within us that generate evil intentions. We hate the person for what they have
done. We hope that they will get theirs. We pray for bad things to happen to
them. In the extreme we seek revenge. All of these responses have an evil
intent. When we give in to evil and respond with malicious intent in our hearts
we damage our relationship with God. When hate in our hearts is not released
and purged it can turn into poison and affect everything we do.
When we truly forgive someone who has harmed us we “let go”
of all of the built up evil inside of us. We are released and a huge weight is
lifted from our hearts. Forgiving someone and letting go of all malicious
intent is not the same thing as forgetting the damage done. We are not called to
forgive and forget. We are called to forgive. To forgive does not mean we have
to open ourselves up to have the same damage happen again.
The evil one uses our sin that is kept in darkness against
us. It gives him power over us in much the same way that Billie used the broken
window to get Johnny to do his chores. Once we bring our sins into the light he
loses that power over us. Once Johnny told his dad what he had done Billie lost
the ability to blackmail him. As a Catholic we bring our sins into the light in
the Sacrament of Reconciliation. We confess our sins to a priest who is acting
in persona Christi capitis – in the person of Christ the head. In effect, we
confess our sins straight to Christ.
Why can’t I just confess my sins directly to God? Like
Johnny’s father God the Father already knows our sins. He sees all we do. We
can go directly to God in an act of perfect contrition, that is, if we bring
the sin completely out of the darkness of our hearts and are truly sorry for
it. For most of us that is very difficult to do. It is easy to say sorry to God
and not actually mean it as long as we are not held accountable for it. The sin
never really leaves the darkness of our hearts. As long as it is in our hearts
the evil one can use it against us.
When we confess to a priest we bring the sin into the light
where it cannot be hidden. Jesus gave authority to forgive sins and that
authority has been bestowed upon the priest. When the priest gives absolution
it is not the man but Jesus through the man granting the forgiveness and
burning the sin away in the light of his love.
In the Lord’s Prayer we pray, “forgive us our trespasses as
we forgive those who trespass against us.” This is an extremely dangerous part
of the Lord’s Prayer. We are petitioning God to only forgive us as much as the
forgiveness we offer to others. Mercy will be received in the same measure it
is given. If we refuse to forgive someone for a wrong committed against us, if
we live with a grudge, or if we harbor evil intent towards someone we are
giving God permission not to grant us his forgiveness. If I want to be forgiven
for the wrongs I have done toward God I have to wipe the slate clean for
everyone who has wronged me. This also violates the principle of “once saved,
always saved”. If I am saved simply by my acceptance of Jesus as my Lord and
Savior then it doesn’t really matter if I grant my brother forgiveness for
anything he has done against me. I am forgiven. Who cares about my brother. God will forgive him as well once he accepts Jesus....
I cannot do any of this on my own. I do not have the perfect love for my brother that God has for me. God knows this and will give me the grace I need to forgive my brother if I honestly wish to do so. All I have to do is look in my spiritual piggy bank. God will have put the five dollars in there for me to pay the repairman. God grants me the grace, the special favor, to forgive the same way he forgives. How great is our God?
Be a blessing to all you meet and allow them to be a
blessing to you….and forgive, forgive, forgive.
