Praying for Death

How do you respond when someone wishes you a good morning?

A typical response from me is usually something like, “I woke up on the right side of the grass so it is a good start.” As I grow in my faith I find myself asking if this is really the start I am longing for in my day. If I truly believe in my heart what I profess with my mouth the best start to my day would be to awake from sleep to find myself on the path to heaven.

Night Prayer in the Liturgy of the Hours ends with –

                “May the all-powerful Lord grant us a restful night and a peaceful death.”

For many of us, the death we long for comes in our sleep, as an old man, surrounded by the smiling faces of our wives, children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. Peaceful, surrounded by those we love. I have come to realize that the request we make at the end of Night Prayer is one request, not two. Lord, please call me home to your side tonight while I sleep.

There is another saying many of us have heard. “Everyone wants to go to heaven. No one wants to go today.” Heaven is what we all long for as long as it comes a long way down the road. We all want to live full lives. For too many that is measured in the things we own, money we have, places we’ve been, and those we have influence over. Lives are measured in the material. Jesus, on the other hand, tells us that our lives are measured in the spiritual.

                “He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. “And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. “He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it.” – Matthew 10: 37-39

Very difficult words for all of us to hear. If we choose anything over Jesus, even spouse or child, we are not worthy of life in heaven with Jesus. I have found a slightly different translation of this in the bible that no one disputes. It goes something like –

            “I am the LORD your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.  ‘You shall have no other gods before Me.”

If that vaguely sounds like the First Commandment that is because it is.  God gave that Law to Moses, who delivered it to the tribes of Israel. Jesus, the Law incarnate, reiterates this Law to his disciples. Or as it later says in the book of Deuteronomy, I am to love the Lord, my God, with all my heart, all my soul, all my strength, and with all that I am.

When I wake each morning I find that God has not granted me that prayer I pray at the end of the Liturgy of the Hours, yet. There is a reason why he woke me on this side of heaven that I may never come to know. There is a purpose for me being here today. As I meditate on the reason why I woke on this side of heaven the answer that I keep circling around in my head to is a simple one.

                “Be a blessing to all today. Allow them to be a blessing to you.”

God woke me this morning so that I can see Christ in those I meet today and be Christ to them.  Admittedly, this is something I have gotten extremely good at failing at. If people are not seeing Christ in me what are they seeing? I hope the worst they see is indifference but, as my family can tell you better than anyone, far too often they see the devil.

And perhaps that is why I awoke here this morning. God has given me another opportunity to repent, put on the armor of light, and go be Christ to those who see me today. Only by the grace of God is that even possible.

"Lord, come into my heart. Fill me with the light of your love. Let your light burn out all the darkness within me. Make me a lantern to carry the light of your love to all those still in darkness. And when they gaze upon that light may they see only you through me."

Go and be a blessing to all you meet and allow them to be a blessing to you.

Playing Dress-up

Recently the United States College of Catholic Bishops Committee on Clergy, Consecrated Life, and Vocations highlighted the importance of the deacon in the life of the Church from their annual survey in a tweet. Someone commented that the Church needs more priests and not empty nesters who like to play dress-up. In a later comment he went on to say that there is no coincidence that priestly vocations have collapsed at the same time as permanent deacon vocations soared.

The vocation of deacon is vastly misunderstood by clergy and lay alike. Even many deacons seem not to understand who they have been called to become. The permanent diaconate, at least in the United States, is always changing. It is not really evolving in as much as it is becoming better understood. The Church is two thousand years old and clarity comes to it over centuries, not years. The permanent diaconate in the United States was only restored in 1968. In Church time it is still in its infancy.

To understand why the deacon is important to the life of the Church we have to understand their two fold ministries of service and liturgy. Before we talk about the deacon let us start by understanding the role of the priest. Why do we have priests?

Jesus called the Twelve and bestowed his authority on them. They were the first bishops. As the Church grew the Twelve could not be everywhere at once. They ordained additional bishops to manage the new Churches, which became localities, which became what we know as dioceses. The bishop is the ordinary minister in his diocese. He is responsible for every soul residing in his diocese, Catholic or otherwise. His job is to offer sacrifice and prayer for all of the people.

A bishop cannot be in every parish in his diocese at once. Priests are the bishops’ stand ins in the parishes. Priests offer sacrifice and prayer on the behalf of the bishop in their parish. This is their primary ministry.

Bishops are also responsible for the wellbeing of the people living in his diocese. The original bishops found out early that they could not look after the well being of their flock and offer sacrifice and prayer at the same time. There just are not enough hours in the day to do it all. They ordained the first deacons as ministers of service. They were to look after the day to day needs of the people while the bishops offered sacrifice and prayer.

Deacons are ordained primarily as the agents of charity for the bishops. They are ordained so that they may receive ordinational graces to strengthen them in this ministry. Serving those on the peripheries is not an easy thing to do. To bring Christ and be Christ to those in most need can be both emotionally and physically taxing. Ordinational grace strengthens the deacon to go forth and do that which Jesus calls him to do. Without the deacon the responsibility for the well being for the people of the parish falls to the priest who is already overburdened with things besides sacrifice and prayer. The first bishops learned quickly that they could not do both at the level both required. The priest is supposed to take care of the people’s spiritual needs whereas the deacon attends to their physical needs.

The deacon has a secondary ministry when it comes to the liturgy. The deacon is the ordinary minister of the Gospel, not the priest or the bishop, even if it is the bishop of Rome, the Pope. When a deacon is present at a Mass it is his duty to proclaim the Gospel. The deacon is also the ordinary minister of the chalice. In a Mass where the host is being distributed under both species it is the deacon who distributes the blood of Christ. The secondary responsibility of the deacon in liturgy is to assist the priest wherever he needs assistance. In the Church one retains all of the authority to do the ministries below the one they are in. If there is no lector the deacon becomes the lector. If there are no altar servers the deacon becomes the altar server. If there is no deacon the priest becomes the deacon.

There is a theological purpose to the deacon in liturgy that is seemingly unknown to just about everybody. To understand it we have to realize what the Mass actually is in reality. The Church teaches that the Mass is a re-presentation of Jesus’ sacrifice on Calvary.  It is not a recreation. It is not a remembrance.  The Mass, in every respect, is a time machine that transports us to the foot of the cross on Calvary. We become physically present at Jesus crucifixion. To maintain our sanity our eyes are veiled from seeing the supernatural world that surrounds us. Every Mass, no matter how large or small, is part of the one true Mass offered once forever in heaven.

The ordinary minister responsible for offering the Mass for the people in his diocese is the bishop. Because the bishop cannot be present in every parish for every Mass the priest acts as his stand in. In this world the bishop himself is also a stand in. The bishop stands in for Jesus who is offering the sacrifice of the Mass, which is his body, blood, soul, and divinity. We say that the bishop/priest acts in Persona Christi, or in the person of Christ.

If we were to lift the veil on the supernatural and see the actual Mass we are a part of we would see angels to the right and left and surrounding Jesus at the altar. In our reality the deacon is the stand in for the angels. A Mass without deacons is a Mass without the visual representation of the angels. When a priest chooses not to use the deacon at Mass because he does not feel they are needed he is robbing the faithful of the fullness of what the Mass truly is. It does not matter if it is just a private Mass at which there is only one priest and one deacon or our highest solemnity, the presence of the deacon makes visible the angels who are only visible through supernatural vision.

It is true that the bishop/priest is the only one who can bring life into the Church. They are the only ones Jesus has given his authority to consecrate the host and unless we eat of the flesh of Jesus we will have no life within us. No priest, no Eucharist; no Eucharist no life. The bishop/priest is also the only one who can act as a conduit for the forgiveness of sin. Again, no priest, no absolution of sin; no absolution of sin, no life. The bishop/priest cannot be replaced. But, just as a car engine cannot run long without oil, the Church cannot run long without her deacons. This is the reason the permanent diaconate was restored in 1968, has flourished, and continues to grow throughout the world today. It wasn’t to give a bunch of old, empty nesters a chance to play dress-up.

Believing is seeing

“One who has seen God has, in the act of seeing, gained all that is counted good: life without end, everlasting freedom from decay, undying happiness, a kingdom that has no end, lasting joy, true light, a voice to sing pleasingly in the spirit, unapproachable glory, perpetual rejoicing, in a word, the totality of blessing.” - From a homily of Saint Gregory of Nyssa, bishop

What do you see? What do you truly see? Is this Jesus, body, blood, soul, and divinity or is it merely a piece of bread? The Catholic faith teaches that this is truly Jesus, as real as if he were standing before us on his own two feet. Jesus has made it possible for us to look upon the face of God on this earth without the fear of death. In the act of seeing we have gained all that is counted good. But Jesus does not stop at just allowing us to see him. Jesus has made it possible for us to take him into ourselves in the most intimate form of communion possible. Holy Communion, for a Catholic, is not just sharing a meal with each other in a remembrance of an act that happened long ago. Holy Communion starts by seeing the face of God and continues when we ask him to dwell within us when we receive the Eucharist.

I cannot think of a single thing that is closer to heaven on this earth. There is nothing greater I can give my life for. There is nothing I can receive that comes close to the gift of self from the King of heaven, God in the flesh.

Why is it then that attendance at Mass has been in decline for decades? Why is it then that so many have not returned after being relieved of their obligation to attend Mass because of the pandemic? Could it be that people only see bread being elevated by the priests? Could it be that people only see corruption and abuse in the priesthood? When asked why people leave the Church you will hear a plethora of answers. I don’t like the music. I don’t like the priest or the way he preaches. I don’t like the rules imposed or the Church’s opinion on this or that. I have even heard someone say that they no longer believe in God.

Jesus entered the world as a naked, vulnerable, innocent baby. Jesus left this world a naked, vulnerable, innocent King. He returns to us in what see as bread, just as naked, innocent, and vulnerable. Belief resides in the heart, not the head. It is belief in the heart that allows the eyes to see that which is true.

When you look upon the Eucharist what do you see? If it is anything but God in the flesh pray that God will enter your heart and fill you with his presence,  that in believing you might see, and that in seeing you may receive all things considered good.

The Person, not the Label

One sunny Sunday afternoon a family went to have a picnic in the park. They set out the table cloth, sandwiches, and potato salad. Everyone had their favorite beverage. As they bowed their heads to give thanks little Lilly snuck a peek to see what everyone was doing. Mommy and daddy had their heads down, eyes closed in prayer. Her brother was fiddling about, anxious to dig into the baked beans. Then Lilly looked past her dad. On a park bench, not too far away, sat a disheveled, homeless man.

When the prayer had finished Lilly looked up at her father.

“Daddy, today in Church we heard Jesus tell us that we should feed the hungry,” Lilly said in an innocent voice.

“That we did,” Her father said with an inquisitive look.

“Well,” she continued, “that man over there looks hungry. Wouldn’t Jesus want us to love him enough to give him one of our sandwiches?”

Lilly’s father’s heart began to melt to think that a five year old not only listened in Church but wanted to do what the Gospel said. He was about to respond when a thought came to him. He sat for a moment and then began to shake his head.

“No pumpkin, taking that man a sandwich wouldn’t be the loving thing to do,” he said.

“It’s not?” Lilly asked.

“That isn’t love. That is kindness. The loving thing to do is to ask him to join us on our picnic. He needs our friendship more than he needs our food.”

Lilly and her father got up from the table and asked the man to join them for a meal.

Our world and especially out country is hurting badly right now. The horrific action of one man and the inaction of three others has plunged the entire country into anger filled chaos and violence. The death of George Floyd is indeed horrific, but then again every death is. It does not matter if that life is white, black, brown, red, or yellow. It does not matter if it is Christian, pagan, or atheist. It does not matter if straight, gay, or trans. And it does not matter if it is born or still in the womb.  Every person is made in the image and likeness of God and all human life is sacred.

Every horrific crime committed against a human being has begun when the dignity of the individual is ignored and they are seen as something other than human. George Floyd was not seen as a man. He was seen as a color. He was seen as not having the same dignity as other men because of that color and because he was not the same he could be treated unjustly.

America, not just black America, has a duty and a responsibility to be angry with what happened to George Floyd. This country was founded on the belief that all men are created equal. We have yet to fully live up to that founding principle. Protests will not change anyone’s heart. Riots and violence only further set it to stone. What good is there in calling attention to a wrong if by the way you do so only makes people want to ignore you and tune you out?

We will never begin to end racism until we can restore that which has been lost, the dignity of the person. We live in a culture of death. We kill our children before they are given a chance to live. We lock up the troubled youth who know no other way but crime. We encourage euthanasia for our elderly when they are all used up so they do not become a burden. People are treated as trash and discarded.

Until the dignity of every person is recognized and restored we can never take steps to end hate. The first step to restoring dignity is to focus on the person and not the label. George Floyd was a man who was black. He was not a black. If he were treated with the dignity due every man he would no doubt be alive today. The police are not the enemy. Most are hardworking men and women who have sworn an oath to put your life before theirs. There are bad people in every group. That is just human nature.

When you look at another person what is the first thing you see? Do you see the color of their skin? Do you see the condition of their clothes? Do you focus on the physical attributes? We all should be seeking to see Jesus in that person first. Do I see the black, homeless man or do I see Jesus in need of ministering? Do I allow my heart to hate, my hand to extend kindness, or do I pour out love to him?

The choice is yours to make.

Where is your faith?

Jesus Stills the Sea

     “ Now on one of those days Jesus and His disciples got into a boat, and He said to them, “Let us go over to the other side of the lake.” So they launched out. But as they were sailing along He fell asleep; and a fierce gale of wind descended on the lake, and they began to be swamped and to be in danger. They came to Jesus and woke Him up, saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!” And He got up and rebuked the wind and the surging waves, and they stopped, and it became calm. And He said to them, “Where is your faith?” They were fearful and amazed, saying to one another, “Who then is this, that He commands even the winds and the water, and they obey Him?”



There is an African proverb that says, “Fair seas do not make skillful sailors.” To this I give witness. In September of 1989 my ship was returning home from South Korea. We were trying to avoid two typhoons that were raging in the north Pacific. Then the big earthquake hit San Francisco and the Admiral in charge of our fleet decided that we had to get back to California as quickly as we could. That course sent us straight through one of the typhoons. For the next two weeks my ship, small by Navy standards, was tossed about by thirty foot plus waves and gale force winds. We did nothing less than forty degree rolls each side of center. We would ride up on one wave only to dive below the next. We could not eat, sleep, or shower. All we could do is hang on for nature’s roller coaster ride. I know the fear the Disciples had first hand. Fair seas do not make skillful sailors. They make sailors who know and respect the power of water.


We live in very interesting times. The Church through the centuries has seen its share of persecution, hardship, and scandal. If the Church is a boat and the world the ocean how can we not come to expect the storms? Indeed, if turbulent seas truly make skillful sailors, how can we not desire the storms? Trials for both the Church and our personal lives is the soil in which our faith can grow strong and bear great fruit. That is, only if we do not abandon ship.


We need to remember that Jesus is on the ship, his bride, the Church. Even when he is peacefully sleeping he would never let his ship capsize and sink. If we are on that ship we can rest assured that the ship will never fail us. The opposite is unfortunately not as true. Turbulent seas wash sailors overboard all of the time. If the watches are on the top of their game these sailors can be recovered from the ocean and saved. If a sailor goes overboard in the dead of the night they are almost always lost forever. If a sailor cannot swim and goes overboard they almost always drown. You would be amazed at the number of sailors that cannot swim. 


There are others who have forgotten that Jesus is on the boat, sleeping below deck. They see the boat as lost and sinking and have decided that their lives are in their own hands. They have abandon the ship and set off in life rafts. They have been joined by many who have found dislike in something on the boat, be that the food, their bunks, the sailor at the helm, or even the course and direction the ship is sailing. The life rafts look more promising, each offering something different. When one life raft does not provide what is desired they can swim to the next.


What we must remember is that Christ is on the boat. He is the Captain. The boat goes where he desires it to on the course he commands. If that is straight through the typhoon it is because he wishes us to become the most skillful sailors we are capable of being. He always has the power to rebuke the wind and the surging waves. When he did so for the Disciples he asked them where their faith was. This is the same question he asks each one of us. When we are amid turbulent seas do we fear for our lives or do we trust in Jesus? Do we set out in life rafts or hold dear to the rails on the ship? 


Prayer and fasting are the tools old salts use to weather any sea. Mass is the life preserver that keeps us afloat for it is where Jesus makes himself physically visible to us on the boat. We not only see our Savior but we can commune with him in the most intimate fashion possible. Just as the boat had no fear of sinking in the storm so too do we have no real fear when the One who has the power to control the seas is dwelling within us.


As for me and many of my shipmates, we have never had a better night’s sleep than we did during those weeks we spent being thrown about by the typhoon. When you do not fear be lost at sea the ride can become quite fun if you let it. 

Woman, why are you weeping?

“When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus there,
but did not know it was Jesus.
Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?
Whom are you looking for?”
She thought it was the gardener and said to him,
“Sir, if you carried him away,
tell me where you laid him,
and I will take him.” – John 20: 14&15

On Holy Thursday we are told in the Gospel of John that Jesus’ Passion began when he went to a garden in the east to pray. The garden the scripture speaks of is physically the Garden of Gethsemane. Spiritually it is the Garden of Eden.



On Easter Sunday Mary of Magdalene went to the tomb to anoint the body of Jesus. She found an empty tomb and began to weep because she thought they had taken the body away. Mary was approached by our risen Lord and he asked why she was weeping.  Mary thought Jesus was the gardener.  

“Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it.” – Genesis 2:15

Adam was the first gardener. God put Adam in charge of all creation and gave him the job of caring for it. Adam failed and death came into the world. Jesus’ glory undid the failings of Adam and restored life. His sacrifice unlocked paradise for all humanity who love him. Jesus has become the new Adam. As the new Adam he has also become the new gardener. Mary was not wrong when she thought she was speaking to the gardener. She was. With the veil removed Mary could see Jesus for who he truly is for the first time – the master of all creation.



Death came into the world through a garden when a woman selfishly took the fruit off of the tree of life for herself. Salvation came into the world through a garden when a woman selflessly took the fruit of her womb and placed it back upon the tree of life for all humanity.



My heart is full because the tomb is empty.

Home Churches

The first Christians were Jewish. They were considered a new Jewish sect that believed that Jesus was the promised Messiah. They worshipped in the temple in the way they were accustomed. Their insistence in preaching the risen Christ got them into trouble with the ruling class and they were eventually kicked out of the temple. Out of necessity they setup home churches so they could continue their worship of God.


After Constantine made Christianity legal in 312AD Christians no longer had to hide in the shadows. Private home churches and hidden worship in the catacombs could now be done in the public square. Church became the place you went for Sunday worship. As this became the norm home churches fell out of fashion and pretty much ceased to exist in the way they used to.


Fast forward two-thousand years. In the name of public safety, in order to combat the spread of the Corona virus, we have closed our churches to public worship. On one hand I fully understand and support this action. No one wants to see anyone get sick and no one wants anyone to die when they don’t have to. At the same time the theological side of my nature is going nuts. Before all of this began there were Catholics still holding their Masses in the “catacombs” because being Catholic in some parts of this world still will earn you a martyr’s crown. People face very real and possible torture and death when they gather to worship. Others are killed over nothing more than the suspicion they are Christian.


In other parts of the world, places that offer a Catholic Mass are few and far between. It is not unheard of for people to have to walk eight or ten miles, through all types of weather, facing dismemberment and death from both nature and man, just to give praise and worship to God. They do this even though the Eucharist many times cannot be present. You would think these people would be depressed or angry at having to endure this, yet, they are among the most joyful and joyous people in our faith.


Meanwhile, here in America we are hunkered down in our bunkers, sheltering in place, trying not to catch a virus that, at the moment, appears to be more hype than reality. Yes, it is a serious thing we need to take seriously but when I look to my fellow Catholics who are literally risking their lives just by being Catholic I feel more than just a little guilty. I know too many people who rejoice in having their Sunday obligation lifted for the time being. Prayer and worship have become an afterthought. It is like we have taken a vacation from Jesus during our most holy season. I know the devil is just laughing up a storm right now. Wow, is that all it takes to get people to walk away from Jesus and each other; the fear that they may get sick and possibly die however unlikely? So much for the oath we take to live our lives for Jesus and die for him if necessary every time we receive him in the Eucharist.


The Lord’s Prayer has a bit of a sting for me at the moment when I say the words, “And lead us not into temptation.” This passage means, “Do not lead me to the test.” What test? Do I deny Christ three times and run from him in the garden when danger presents itself or do I stand with him and face whatever trial comes my way? How many of us will listen to the Passion narratives this week and think to ourselves, “I would never abandon Jesus the way his apostles did,” while we are sheltering in the safety of our own homes?


The Church provides.


Many of our priests have used the current times to embrace technology as to bring Jesus to us in the only way they are permitted to do right now. Many parishes are live streaming their Masses. Eucharistic Adoration, Rosaries, and other devotions are available 24-7 from anywhere in the world with internet access. We now have drive-thru confessions that can be done from the safety of our cars. The Most Reverend David Malloy, Bishop of the Rockford Diocese, will be televising Easter Mass from the Cathedral this Easter Sunday. He will be doing so alone with only a cameraman present. My pastor, the Reverend Ervin Caliente, spent Palm Sunday going from house to house with the Blessed Sacrament and a statue of Our Lady of Fatima giving house blessings from a distance. Thanks be to God!


The first Christians started home churches out of necessity. Out of necessity we have returned to the home church. This time we can do so while staying connected to our parishes, Cathedrals, and Holy Church in Rome. We are deprived from receiving the body, blood, humanity and divinity of our Lord in the form of the Eucharist but that should fuel a growing hunger for him that is the Bread of Life. Oh what a joyous celebration that first Mass will be when we are allowed to gather as a people of God again.

It's the End of the World as We Know It

“Team by team, reporters baffled, trumped, tethered, cropped
Look at that low plane, fine, then
Uh oh, overflow, population, common group
But it'll do, save yourself, serve yourself
World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed
Tell me with the Rapture and the reverent in the right, right
You vitriolic, patriotic, slam fight, bright light
Feeling pretty psyched

It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine”

R.E.M, 1987

I was talking to a fundamentalist friend the other day. He said, “It sure feels like the apocalypse but there are so many things that have to happen first.” Of course he was referring to the “prophecies” in the Book of Revelations in the Bible. It can’t really be the end of the world because the mighty horns have not blown, the seals have not been broken, and the horsemen have not yet appeared.


But many people are feeling this way right now. That has a lot to do with the fact that there has been nothing like this pandemic happening in living memory except with those who are the most aged. We have forgotten about the flu pandemic of 1968 that killed a million people worldwide. We have forgotten about the Asian flu pandemic of the late fifties that killed over two million people. Just one hundred years ago a flu pandemic killed between twenty to fifty million people. What we are experiencing today is nothing new; it is just new to us. We are frightened because we have never had to face this type of trial before.


But my friend’s words hit a chord in me. This can’t be the end because it clearly states in the Bible exactly what will happen and we don’t see it so it isn’t that. It made me think of my Jewish brethren. Truth be told, when it is all boiled down to the lowest common denominator the only thing that separates the Jewish people from the Catholics is one word – back. Jews are looking for the Messiah to come. Catholics are looking for the Messiah to come back.


Jews who fail to recognize Jesus as the promised one, the Messiah, do so solely because they have a hard set idea of exactly what the Messiah will look like and what he will do. He will come, re-establish the Kingdom of David as the head of the nations, and he will die. They still can’t eat shrimp. Because they have a preconceived notion of what this will look like they to refuse to see that Jesus did exactly that very thing. Christians would add to the Jewish expectation – and rise from the dead. And, oh, we can now eat shrimp.


There are so many ways that the Christians of our age have become like the Pharisees of old. We argue over the letter of the Law instead of living in the Spirit of the Law. We debate every jot and tittle according to our own perceptions, understandings, or beliefs regardless of whether they are in accord with the teaching of the only one to whom all authority has been given. We fail to see Christ in all creation because we have blinded ourselves to seeing Christ as only as he appears in those pictures hanging in our churches and homes.


Many of us read parts of our Bibles as if they are recipe books. This will happen, then that will happen, and then we will get XYZ. But we are not given prophecy so we can know the future. We are given prophecy so that when it happens we might believe. Prophecy is not an early warning system for pending doom. I need not worry about the state of my soul because I have not heard the first horn blast from heaven announcing the end days.


Despite the beliefs of our non-Catholic Christian friends we should always be worried about the state of our souls. The Bible assures us that no one can snatch us out of God’s hand. But that does not mean we cannot jump out on our own accord. God respects our free will and if we wish to jump from his loving embrace he won’t stop us. That is exactly what sin is; voluntarily separating ourselves from God. Once saved is not always saved on this side of heaven. If we choose to renounce our salvation and separate ourselves from God, God will respect our choice and be saddened by it.


Loving God with our whole heart, with our whole mind, with our whole strength, and with our entire being does not stop us from screwing up. We’re human after all. But this is why God has given us the Sacrament of Reconciliation and penance. We can say we are sorry for what we have done wrong, be forgiven for it, and make restitution for the damage we have done.


For a person living in a state of grace there is no need to fear a pandemic. There no need to fear any trial or hardship. There is no need to fear the end of the world as we know it. In fact it should be something we are in joyful anticipation of arriving. Christmas Eve is the destruction of this world and Christmas morning is walking with God in paradise. More appropriately, Good Friday is the death of this world and Easter Sunday is the resurrection as a glorified creation in heaven. Now that is something to hope for and not to be in dread of.

The Magnitude of it.

Last summer I took my family to see the Arch in St. Louis, Missouri. They looked at pictures and watched videos of the Arch and were really excited to go. That excitement quickly turned to anxiety once we stood at the base of the Arch and looked up. They were overwhelmed by the magnitude of it, something pictures just couldn’t convey.


On a recent trip I had to go to New Orleans on business. My hotel was just outside the French Quarter. In my off time I wandered the streets taking in the sights and sounds. Of course, the one thing that stood out to me was the homeless. Louisiana is a warm weather state so the homeless have no need for shelters to get out of the cold. They live on the streets as they do in many large cities. They basically sleep wherever they lay down in whatever protection they have.


I have been to cities that have far worse homeless problems. I had just come from New York City where they do have to deal with the elements. I have also been to countries where homelessness was the norm for the majority. I have spent time in Chittagong, Bangladesh where the average yearly income was less than $200. Most Americans have no idea how good we truly have it here.


My heart hurts for these people. I wish I could help every one of them live a respectable life. I know there is a reason most of them are where they are and that no amount of help can ever help them. The locals are used to these people so they pass by without even as much as a glance. The tourists are too busy with their sightseeing, liquor, and music to much care. It is almost as if these people were invisible.

 

“Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you.” – Mother Theresa

There was one man I always saw on my walks. He moved about from place to place but was always in the area. He always looked the same. He sat cross legged, with his back against a building. His head was always down and he held a hat in his hands for people to put money in. He never looked up. He never said anything to anyone. He just sat.


On my last night in town I found this man. He was in one of his usual spots sitting in his usual style. I rarely carry cash on me but I put the little I had in his hat. He made no motion to take it out. Then I asked him his name. He slowly raised his head to look at me.


“Jeffrey,” he said in a low voice.


I extended my hand, smiled, and said, “It is a pleasure to meet you Jeffrey.”


At first there was amazement in his eyes. Did I really want to touch him? Then he smiled and shook my hand.


I could not give him more money but what I had to offer was probably more important. I recognized him as a person. I treated him with dignity and not as trash left on the curb.


On the way back to the hotel thoughts of Saint Theresa of Calcutta flooded my mind. Saint Theresa, an Albanian woman of tiny stature, grew increasingly disturbed by the poverty that surrounded her in Calcutta. She chose to live among the poor and care for the sick and dying, the people cast aside and thrown out on the streets like garbage. She formed the Missionaries of Charity and was joined by twelve other religious sisters to care for the poorest of the poor in India. By the time she died Mother Theresa operated 517 missions in over 100 countries with more than 4500 sisters dedicated to her cause.


It started with one tiny woman who heard the call within the call.


All of a sudden, I was back standing under the St. Louis Arch looking up.

It's the destination and not the journey that matters.

When my wife and I were married we went to Riviera Maya, Mexico for our honeymoon. We got up before the sun rose and drove to the airport. There we boarded a plane and took a four and a half hour flight to Cancun. Our travel agency met us at baggage claim and ushered us into an air conditioned bus. Once everyone was loaded we departed for the resort.


The trip to the resort did not take us through the nicest of neighborhoods. We passed through neighborhoods where people were living on the streets or in one room shacks without doors. There was no running water, bathrooms, or sanitation. Garbage collection and disposal was non-existent. Seeing how some people scratched out a miserable existence makes one appreciate the many blessings we have in life.


The resort was a gated paradise in comparison to the neighborhoods we passed through to get there. There was plenty of food and drink. The beaches were pristine. We didn’t have a worry in the world when we were there. We had all we could do to just drink piña coladas from our hammocks beside the ocean.


This trip was a microcosm of life. We are born, journey through life, and then reach our destination. As with any trip it is good to begin with the end in mind. Where do you want to end up? Far too many of us meander about searching for a destination. I want to be rich with a big house and a fancy car. If we achieve that then what? There is always more we can gain.


A Christian’s destination should always be heaven. The journey to get there will always be through some bad neighborhoods. For some, the neighborhoods will be worse than others but no one reaches heaven on golden roads through the country club estates. Suffering is the currency of love and heaven requires suffering. Even Mary, the most perfect of our race, suffered tremendously. Why should we expect better?


Faith is much like the bus we rode to the resort. A strong faith allows one to travel through the bad times with hope for we know what awaits us. Without a destination or a bus to get you there you are left to meander in the bad. This is the true definition of misery.


In the circles I frequent I interact a lot with people who can only see the sky falling down around us. Pope Francis is the anti-christ who is going to bring about the end of the Church. This bishop is dividing the Church this way or that. The end is near. We’re all doomed.


I don’t know about them but I have read the end of the book. I know who wins. We have been told this sort of thing would happen and not to be taken away by the signs of the times. We are told that Jesus is the head of the body, the Church. He, himself, told us that he would be with us until we reach our destination. If these things are true and I truly believe them then what do I really have to fear? If Jesus is driving the bus and he takes us through bad neighborhoods maybe it is because there is something he wants us to learn. Maybe he wants us to grow to be more than ourselves. Maybe he wants us to change. Throughout all of human history God has used flawed and broken people to bring humanity a little closer to himself.


An angel is a messenger from God. An angel always begins the message they are to deliver in the same way. “Do not be afraid. May the peace of the Lord be with you.”


Hate is driven by fear. Do not be afraid. Jesus is in control and we are on a bus bound for paradise. There will be bad times but they are there to strengthen our faith and bring us closer to God. Trust in the Lord and he will get you safely through the tempest.

MAD Men and the Nuclear Option

It was a beautiful, sunny day. Whips of white clouds hung lazily in the air while people bustled about, oblivious as to what was about to happen.  31,000 feet above them the bomb bay doors opened on Enola Gay. The command was given, Little Boy was released. Forty-three seconds later, at 8:15am on August 6, 1945 the first atomic weapon was detonated above Hiroshima, Japan, a city comprised mostly of civilians.



Three days later, on August 9, 1945 a second atomic weapon, the Fat Man, was dropped on the civilian population of Nagasaki, Japan. The devastating attacks broke the back of the Japanese empire and brought about the end of WWII. Japan surrendered six days after the second bomb was dropped.



This would be the only time that atomic weapons will be used in war. The Allies justified the action with the claim that the number of lives saved on both sides of the war far exceeded that which would have been lost had a long, drawn out ground war on mainland Japan would have taken place.



The attacks gave birth to the nuclear arms race where the United States went head to head against Russia to see who could build the greatest nuclear arsenal the fastest. This in turn gave birth to the concept of mutually assured destruction (MAD). It was the idea that no country would ever use atomic weapons in war because the opposing country would retaliate in kind and there would be mass destruction and death in both countries.  As of the spring of 2019 the world wide inventory of nuclear weapons was known to be just under 14,000 weapons, with more than 90% of those being owned by the United States and Russia.



Hollywood had a hay day with this idea, producing dozens upon dozens of movies about a world pushed to a nuclear war and the aftermath that follows.



Recently, Pope Francis commented that the use of nuclear weapons was an immoral action and must be added to the Catechism of the Catholic Church. He is not the first pope to speak out about nuclear weapons. Saint John Paul the Great and Pope Benedict also have spoken out against nuclear weapons. Pope Francis not only said that the use of nuclear weapons was immoral but that the mere possession of the weapons is just as immoral.



The concept is actually quite easy to understand. If an action is immoral then threatening to do that action to another is just as immoral. Killing is immoral, it is sinful. Threatening to kill another is therefore also immoral and sinful. The act comes with a greater punishment but the threat also has consequences.



War is also bad for it brings with it the death of innocents and brings out the worst in humanity. There is such a thing as a justified war. Deliberately targeting and attacking innocent civilians in a war is never justifiable, even when it saves more lives than it takes. You can never use an evil act to justify stopping a greater evil.



That is the concept Mutually Assured Destruction is based upon. If you destroy my country’s civilian population I will destroy yours. MAD makes the threat of an immoral action, which in itself is an immoral action, to discourage an immoral action. It is a zero sum gain when it comes to eternity. The threat and the action both separate us from God.



Is the United States a moral nation? Most within the United States would like to think so. But how can we be considered moral when we use many immoral means to protect ourselves. A moral nation must lead the world by doing that which is upright and good. Threatening to destroy the world’s population is anything but upright or good.



Perhaps the moral thing to do is to dismantle our nuclear arsenal and show the world that no matter how bad things get between us and our enemies we won’t resort to the mass destruction of innocent civilians. What do we really have to lose by doing this? Do we really have to worry about a country wiping us off the face of the earth in a massive nuclear attack? If Mutually Assured Destruction really works then when there is no worry about retaliatory destruction there is no reason to be armed to retaliate. The opposite of MAD is therefore also true.

“Now what happens?" asked the man in black.
"We face each other as God intended," Fezzik said. "No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone."
"You mean you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people, is that it?”

Oh if such a world existed.

Modern Idolatry

God created me. He made me a white male with blonde hair and blue eyes. I am of above average stature and efficient at storing excess energy around my waist. He made me who I am. He fashioned me to be pleasing to him. I am to be a good steward of my body, soul, and spirit. I am not to be a good steward to please myself but to give glory to the one who created me.

Idolatry is placing something or someone in the place reserved only for the one who created us. Idolatry comes in many different forms. The original idolatry was committed by Adam and Eve. When the devil offered them the forbidden fruit he told them that it would make them like God. They could become gods themselves. That was their desire when they ate of the fruit.

It does not matter how close a people are to God. Idolatry is always present whether the people are aware of it or not. After God had freed the Jewish people from pharaoh they made a golden calf to worship. Idolatry is alive and well and taking on new forms today. God made me with blonde hair and blue eyes but I can change both of those if I am not happy with what he gave me. Today, a person can even change the appearance of their gender through hormone therapy and reassignment surgery. We no longer give the glory of creation to God but put ourselves first by choosing that which appeals to us instead.

Sometimes idolatry comes in forms so common we never even notice it. On Sundays during football season there will always be people showing off their pride for their favorite team by proudly wearing their jerseys to Mass. Seems innocent enough but we gather at Mass to worship God, not our favorite teams. Many of us plan our entire Sunday around, not our worship of God, rest, or communion with our families, but a sporting event. The purpose for which the Sabbath was created is put second to our love for a game, a team, or one of its members. It may not be Idolatry with a capital I but it is idolatry just the same. Think of it along the same lines as mortal and venial sin. Venial sins build upon themselves and make it much easier to make the jump to mortal sin.

I am going to steal from a homily my pastor gave a few weeks ago. Close your eyes and try to imagine what heaven is like. Are you in a beautiful place? Are you surrounded by all of your loved ones that have passed on before you? Are you in great health, looking the best you have ever have? Are you at a banquet with all of your favorite foods? What do you see when you think of heaven?

No open your eyes and remember what you saw in your vision of heaven. Look around it. Did you see Jesus there with you among the beauty and family? If you didn’t see Jesus in your vision of heaven you were not in heaven. No matter how beautiful your vision, without Christ you are in hell. Jesus is heaven. Heaven is the place reserved for the most sacred union between God and his children.

What do you place before God in your life? Where do you put your desires over his? What reasons do you use to miss attending Mass? What idols do you worship?