To Have and to Hold

It was a beautiful Saturday in June. The Church was full. A man and woman stood in front of them all and exchanged their vows. The priest announced them, man and wife. When the pictures were taken the man walked out of the Church, got into a car with his girlfriend, and the two sped off to dinner together.

All of us would look upon that man with distain. How could he treat his marriage vows so flippantly? Did they actually mean anything to him? Few of us realize how much of that man is in so many of us.

One facet of a Sacrament is it is an oath to the death. In marriage, the couple exchange vows promising to be faithful to each other until the natural death of one of the two. What these vows do is to define their relationship. A Sacrament is a covenant. A covenant is an agreement where you give your full self in return of another’s full self until death of one of the two parties. This is why there is no such thing as a Catholic divorce. A contract is an exchange of goods or services for an agreed upon period of time. Far too many marriages these days are contractual instead of covenantal.

Every Sacrament has this aspect to it. In the Sacrament of Confirmation a person stands before the entire Church and makes a declaration of faith. You make vows to God that you will the live the faith faithfully. Does this sound like a marriage? Well, that is pretty much what it is. In the Sacrament you define the terms of the covenant. You are my God and I am your son or daughter. When we receive the Sacrament of Confirmation we agree to certain duties and responsibilities which include things like attending Mass every Sunday and other holy days of obligation, making a confession at least once a year, abstaining from meat on Fridays or offering another penance on Fridays outside of Lent, and following a proper fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. Many who receive this Sacrament never darken the doorstep of a Church again until they want either the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony or a funeral. Others do attend Mass on occasion but put as much work into this marriage as they would if they were attending a time share meeting in Florida.

The Sacrament of the Most Holy Eucharist isn’t about receiving communion. Yes, we do receive the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ when we present ourselves at communion but this Sacrament is also a covenant. It too is an oath to the death that comes with duties and responsibilities. In it we receive our Lord but we also give ourselves to him. When we receive the Eucharist we are taking a vow to live for Jesus and die for him if necessary. How do you show Jesus you love him? It is not by doing good works or by being nice to people. You show your love for him by obeying his commands. Jesus passed his teachings on to his disciples, who passed them on to their replacements. This continued through the centuries until the teachings were handed down to the bishops who currently serve the Church today.

We live at a time when rebellion to authority is common place. There are many who receive the Eucharist who can’t wait until they get to the Narthex to tell you the ways the Catholic Church is wrong and needs to change. If Church teachings are handed down from Jesus then they aren’t disagreeing with the Church, they are disagreeing with Jesus. If you love me you will follow my commands. Sorry Jesus, you are out of date and need to change these commands to be compatible with our times.

So we look with disdain on the man who leaves his new wife at the reception and goes off with his girlfriend to dinner. We concentrate more on the splinter in his eye over the plank in ours. When you don’t see a Sacrament for what it truly is it is easy to overlook our own vows. When you start treating the Sacraments as the oaths to the death they really are you begin to see the beauty each covenant brings and draw ever nearer to Jesus.