Called to Love

I had just landed at O’Hare, returning from a recent business trip. I thought I would grab a coffee for my bus ride home so I headed to the Starbucks by baggage claim. There I was approached by a young lady. She wasn’t very attractive. She had a strong, square jaw and an Adam’s apple. It really came as no surprise when the first thing she said to me was, “So, I just came out as trans to my family and my parents didn’t take it well.”


The thing that was most apparent to me was the pain behind her eyes. I sensed a good soul, but one in great turmoil. The people who should have loved her the most rejected her as an abomination, as so many in our society do. She was kicked out of her home and was trying to make her way to live with an aunt and uncle in Colorado. She had next to nothing. She was alone and she was terrified.

At that moment I was presented with a choice. I could avoid this person the best I could. I could wave her off, get my coffee, and rush off to catch my bus. I could be the priest or the Levite and walk on the other side of the road to avoid a beaten traveler. I am sure she was used to people reacting to her that way.


Or, I could be the Samaritan and show compassion to someone in need. The key word in that sentence is “someone”. This was a person, a person with dignity. Dignity is God’s thumbprint on the human soul. Then I thought of the woman at the well. Did Jesus avoid her or did her treat her with dignity?


I don’t normally carry cash so I couldn’t help with her getting through the day or getting that flight to Colorado. But I could buy her some coffee and something to eat. More importantly I could treat her like a person and not as something repulsive.


“Lord, use me as an instrument of your will. Use me as an empty vessel, a lantern, to carry the light of your love to those still in darkness.” This is part of my prayers after receiving the Eucharist. The Lord was going to take me to task on this.


I took the time to have a conversation with her. She got to share some of her sorrow. She gave me a hug and we went our separate ways. I would like to think we both profited from the exchange. My biggest mistake was in not remembering my cardinal rule. I didn’t ask her for her name. Our names define us. It is important to ask for a name. It is one way in which we recognize a person’s dignity and recognize them as a person.


Transgenderism is the hot topic these days. Those who support it consider it this generation’s civil rights fight. Those who oppose it find it silly in the least and downright repugnant, worthy of death, at the extreme. As I sat waiting for my bus I questioned why anyone would choose to put themselves through this. Then, in his usual way, the Holy Spirit offered an answer. They are simply trying to feel whole in the only way they know how.


People with gender dysphoria absolutely believe that they are living in the wrong body. The source of these feelings does not really matter. They are presented with a multitude of choices, none easy to live with; deny it, hide it, accept it, embrace it, attempt to rectify it, flaunt it, bear it, or end it. Which one can truly make them happy? Which one can make them feel whole? What if none of them can?


As Christians we believe that we all have crosses that we are to bear. We would see gender dysphoria as one such cross. There is a belief that one should embrace this cross and stay true to God’s commandments and the natural law. That is impossible for even those with the strongest faith to do let alone someone who has no faith or has never had a personal relationship with Jesus. Each responds to the cross they are given in the ways they know how. For some the only way they can find is to try to become that which they think they are.


Jesus did not command me to love only the perfect, sinless people. He did not command me to love only those who sin the way I do. He commanded me to love everyone in the way God loves me.

It is often said that the Church loves the sinner but hates the sin. It is true that all sin is bad. We are also told not to judge the sinner but only the sin. Judgment of the person is reserved to God alone. Judgment of the sin can only be done with full knowledge of all of the circumstances of the action. Who among us can claim to have such knowledge?


The Pharisees had knowledge that the woman had committed adultery. She had been caught in the act. The Law was clear on what her punishment had to be; death. Yet the just judge gave her mercy and compassion. Only he knew all the circumstances. Only he knew her heart.


How often do we become like the Pharisees and judge a person, like the woman at the airport, based solely on what we see? I do not know the circumstances of her life that led her to make the decisions she has made. I know neither her heart nor where the road she is on leads. Only the just judge knows these things. He did not relegate judgment of that person to me. He has only commanded me to love her has he has loved me.


Try to remember this when you look upon someone who has same-sex attraction, who is transgendered, a pedophile, or who is different than you. God has given them dignity. He loves them and he wants us to love them as well. When you can see Jesus dwelling in another first and foremost is when you can truly begin to love a person without reserve. That is the only thing that can begin to heal this broken world in which we live.