Woman, why are you weeping?

“When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus there,
but did not know it was Jesus.
Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?
Whom are you looking for?”
She thought it was the gardener and said to him,
“Sir, if you carried him away,
tell me where you laid him,
and I will take him.” – John 20: 14&15

On Holy Thursday we are told in the Gospel of John that Jesus’ Passion began when he went to a garden in the east to pray. The garden the scripture speaks of is physically the Garden of Gethsemane. Spiritually it is the Garden of Eden.



On Easter Sunday Mary of Magdalene went to the tomb to anoint the body of Jesus. She found an empty tomb and began to weep because she thought they had taken the body away. Mary was approached by our risen Lord and he asked why she was weeping.  Mary thought Jesus was the gardener.  

“Then the Lord God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it.” – Genesis 2:15

Adam was the first gardener. God put Adam in charge of all creation and gave him the job of caring for it. Adam failed and death came into the world. Jesus’ glory undid the failings of Adam and restored life. His sacrifice unlocked paradise for all humanity who love him. Jesus has become the new Adam. As the new Adam he has also become the new gardener. Mary was not wrong when she thought she was speaking to the gardener. She was. With the veil removed Mary could see Jesus for who he truly is for the first time – the master of all creation.



Death came into the world through a garden when a woman selfishly took the fruit off of the tree of life for herself. Salvation came into the world through a garden when a woman selflessly took the fruit of her womb and placed it back upon the tree of life for all humanity.



My heart is full because the tomb is empty.

Home Churches

The first Christians were Jewish. They were considered a new Jewish sect that believed that Jesus was the promised Messiah. They worshipped in the temple in the way they were accustomed. Their insistence in preaching the risen Christ got them into trouble with the ruling class and they were eventually kicked out of the temple. Out of necessity they setup home churches so they could continue their worship of God.


After Constantine made Christianity legal in 312AD Christians no longer had to hide in the shadows. Private home churches and hidden worship in the catacombs could now be done in the public square. Church became the place you went for Sunday worship. As this became the norm home churches fell out of fashion and pretty much ceased to exist in the way they used to.


Fast forward two-thousand years. In the name of public safety, in order to combat the spread of the Corona virus, we have closed our churches to public worship. On one hand I fully understand and support this action. No one wants to see anyone get sick and no one wants anyone to die when they don’t have to. At the same time the theological side of my nature is going nuts. Before all of this began there were Catholics still holding their Masses in the “catacombs” because being Catholic in some parts of this world still will earn you a martyr’s crown. People face very real and possible torture and death when they gather to worship. Others are killed over nothing more than the suspicion they are Christian.


In other parts of the world, places that offer a Catholic Mass are few and far between. It is not unheard of for people to have to walk eight or ten miles, through all types of weather, facing dismemberment and death from both nature and man, just to give praise and worship to God. They do this even though the Eucharist many times cannot be present. You would think these people would be depressed or angry at having to endure this, yet, they are among the most joyful and joyous people in our faith.


Meanwhile, here in America we are hunkered down in our bunkers, sheltering in place, trying not to catch a virus that, at the moment, appears to be more hype than reality. Yes, it is a serious thing we need to take seriously but when I look to my fellow Catholics who are literally risking their lives just by being Catholic I feel more than just a little guilty. I know too many people who rejoice in having their Sunday obligation lifted for the time being. Prayer and worship have become an afterthought. It is like we have taken a vacation from Jesus during our most holy season. I know the devil is just laughing up a storm right now. Wow, is that all it takes to get people to walk away from Jesus and each other; the fear that they may get sick and possibly die however unlikely? So much for the oath we take to live our lives for Jesus and die for him if necessary every time we receive him in the Eucharist.


The Lord’s Prayer has a bit of a sting for me at the moment when I say the words, “And lead us not into temptation.” This passage means, “Do not lead me to the test.” What test? Do I deny Christ three times and run from him in the garden when danger presents itself or do I stand with him and face whatever trial comes my way? How many of us will listen to the Passion narratives this week and think to ourselves, “I would never abandon Jesus the way his apostles did,” while we are sheltering in the safety of our own homes?


The Church provides.


Many of our priests have used the current times to embrace technology as to bring Jesus to us in the only way they are permitted to do right now. Many parishes are live streaming their Masses. Eucharistic Adoration, Rosaries, and other devotions are available 24-7 from anywhere in the world with internet access. We now have drive-thru confessions that can be done from the safety of our cars. The Most Reverend David Malloy, Bishop of the Rockford Diocese, will be televising Easter Mass from the Cathedral this Easter Sunday. He will be doing so alone with only a cameraman present. My pastor, the Reverend Ervin Caliente, spent Palm Sunday going from house to house with the Blessed Sacrament and a statue of Our Lady of Fatima giving house blessings from a distance. Thanks be to God!


The first Christians started home churches out of necessity. Out of necessity we have returned to the home church. This time we can do so while staying connected to our parishes, Cathedrals, and Holy Church in Rome. We are deprived from receiving the body, blood, humanity and divinity of our Lord in the form of the Eucharist but that should fuel a growing hunger for him that is the Bread of Life. Oh what a joyous celebration that first Mass will be when we are allowed to gather as a people of God again.

It's the End of the World as We Know It

“Team by team, reporters baffled, trumped, tethered, cropped
Look at that low plane, fine, then
Uh oh, overflow, population, common group
But it'll do, save yourself, serve yourself
World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed
Tell me with the Rapture and the reverent in the right, right
You vitriolic, patriotic, slam fight, bright light
Feeling pretty psyched

It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine”

R.E.M, 1987

I was talking to a fundamentalist friend the other day. He said, “It sure feels like the apocalypse but there are so many things that have to happen first.” Of course he was referring to the “prophecies” in the Book of Revelations in the Bible. It can’t really be the end of the world because the mighty horns have not blown, the seals have not been broken, and the horsemen have not yet appeared.


But many people are feeling this way right now. That has a lot to do with the fact that there has been nothing like this pandemic happening in living memory except with those who are the most aged. We have forgotten about the flu pandemic of 1968 that killed a million people worldwide. We have forgotten about the Asian flu pandemic of the late fifties that killed over two million people. Just one hundred years ago a flu pandemic killed between twenty to fifty million people. What we are experiencing today is nothing new; it is just new to us. We are frightened because we have never had to face this type of trial before.


But my friend’s words hit a chord in me. This can’t be the end because it clearly states in the Bible exactly what will happen and we don’t see it so it isn’t that. It made me think of my Jewish brethren. Truth be told, when it is all boiled down to the lowest common denominator the only thing that separates the Jewish people from the Catholics is one word – back. Jews are looking for the Messiah to come. Catholics are looking for the Messiah to come back.


Jews who fail to recognize Jesus as the promised one, the Messiah, do so solely because they have a hard set idea of exactly what the Messiah will look like and what he will do. He will come, re-establish the Kingdom of David as the head of the nations, and he will die. They still can’t eat shrimp. Because they have a preconceived notion of what this will look like they to refuse to see that Jesus did exactly that very thing. Christians would add to the Jewish expectation – and rise from the dead. And, oh, we can now eat shrimp.


There are so many ways that the Christians of our age have become like the Pharisees of old. We argue over the letter of the Law instead of living in the Spirit of the Law. We debate every jot and tittle according to our own perceptions, understandings, or beliefs regardless of whether they are in accord with the teaching of the only one to whom all authority has been given. We fail to see Christ in all creation because we have blinded ourselves to seeing Christ as only as he appears in those pictures hanging in our churches and homes.


Many of us read parts of our Bibles as if they are recipe books. This will happen, then that will happen, and then we will get XYZ. But we are not given prophecy so we can know the future. We are given prophecy so that when it happens we might believe. Prophecy is not an early warning system for pending doom. I need not worry about the state of my soul because I have not heard the first horn blast from heaven announcing the end days.


Despite the beliefs of our non-Catholic Christian friends we should always be worried about the state of our souls. The Bible assures us that no one can snatch us out of God’s hand. But that does not mean we cannot jump out on our own accord. God respects our free will and if we wish to jump from his loving embrace he won’t stop us. That is exactly what sin is; voluntarily separating ourselves from God. Once saved is not always saved on this side of heaven. If we choose to renounce our salvation and separate ourselves from God, God will respect our choice and be saddened by it.


Loving God with our whole heart, with our whole mind, with our whole strength, and with our entire being does not stop us from screwing up. We’re human after all. But this is why God has given us the Sacrament of Reconciliation and penance. We can say we are sorry for what we have done wrong, be forgiven for it, and make restitution for the damage we have done.


For a person living in a state of grace there is no need to fear a pandemic. There no need to fear any trial or hardship. There is no need to fear the end of the world as we know it. In fact it should be something we are in joyful anticipation of arriving. Christmas Eve is the destruction of this world and Christmas morning is walking with God in paradise. More appropriately, Good Friday is the death of this world and Easter Sunday is the resurrection as a glorified creation in heaven. Now that is something to hope for and not to be in dread of.

The Magnitude of it.

Last summer I took my family to see the Arch in St. Louis, Missouri. They looked at pictures and watched videos of the Arch and were really excited to go. That excitement quickly turned to anxiety once we stood at the base of the Arch and looked up. They were overwhelmed by the magnitude of it, something pictures just couldn’t convey.


On a recent trip I had to go to New Orleans on business. My hotel was just outside the French Quarter. In my off time I wandered the streets taking in the sights and sounds. Of course, the one thing that stood out to me was the homeless. Louisiana is a warm weather state so the homeless have no need for shelters to get out of the cold. They live on the streets as they do in many large cities. They basically sleep wherever they lay down in whatever protection they have.


I have been to cities that have far worse homeless problems. I had just come from New York City where they do have to deal with the elements. I have also been to countries where homelessness was the norm for the majority. I have spent time in Chittagong, Bangladesh where the average yearly income was less than $200. Most Americans have no idea how good we truly have it here.


My heart hurts for these people. I wish I could help every one of them live a respectable life. I know there is a reason most of them are where they are and that no amount of help can ever help them. The locals are used to these people so they pass by without even as much as a glance. The tourists are too busy with their sightseeing, liquor, and music to much care. It is almost as if these people were invisible.

 

“Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you.” – Mother Theresa

There was one man I always saw on my walks. He moved about from place to place but was always in the area. He always looked the same. He sat cross legged, with his back against a building. His head was always down and he held a hat in his hands for people to put money in. He never looked up. He never said anything to anyone. He just sat.


On my last night in town I found this man. He was in one of his usual spots sitting in his usual style. I rarely carry cash on me but I put the little I had in his hat. He made no motion to take it out. Then I asked him his name. He slowly raised his head to look at me.


“Jeffrey,” he said in a low voice.


I extended my hand, smiled, and said, “It is a pleasure to meet you Jeffrey.”


At first there was amazement in his eyes. Did I really want to touch him? Then he smiled and shook my hand.


I could not give him more money but what I had to offer was probably more important. I recognized him as a person. I treated him with dignity and not as trash left on the curb.


On the way back to the hotel thoughts of Saint Theresa of Calcutta flooded my mind. Saint Theresa, an Albanian woman of tiny stature, grew increasingly disturbed by the poverty that surrounded her in Calcutta. She chose to live among the poor and care for the sick and dying, the people cast aside and thrown out on the streets like garbage. She formed the Missionaries of Charity and was joined by twelve other religious sisters to care for the poorest of the poor in India. By the time she died Mother Theresa operated 517 missions in over 100 countries with more than 4500 sisters dedicated to her cause.


It started with one tiny woman who heard the call within the call.


All of a sudden, I was back standing under the St. Louis Arch looking up.

It's the destination and not the journey that matters.

When my wife and I were married we went to Riviera Maya, Mexico for our honeymoon. We got up before the sun rose and drove to the airport. There we boarded a plane and took a four and a half hour flight to Cancun. Our travel agency met us at baggage claim and ushered us into an air conditioned bus. Once everyone was loaded we departed for the resort.


The trip to the resort did not take us through the nicest of neighborhoods. We passed through neighborhoods where people were living on the streets or in one room shacks without doors. There was no running water, bathrooms, or sanitation. Garbage collection and disposal was non-existent. Seeing how some people scratched out a miserable existence makes one appreciate the many blessings we have in life.


The resort was a gated paradise in comparison to the neighborhoods we passed through to get there. There was plenty of food and drink. The beaches were pristine. We didn’t have a worry in the world when we were there. We had all we could do to just drink piña coladas from our hammocks beside the ocean.


This trip was a microcosm of life. We are born, journey through life, and then reach our destination. As with any trip it is good to begin with the end in mind. Where do you want to end up? Far too many of us meander about searching for a destination. I want to be rich with a big house and a fancy car. If we achieve that then what? There is always more we can gain.


A Christian’s destination should always be heaven. The journey to get there will always be through some bad neighborhoods. For some, the neighborhoods will be worse than others but no one reaches heaven on golden roads through the country club estates. Suffering is the currency of love and heaven requires suffering. Even Mary, the most perfect of our race, suffered tremendously. Why should we expect better?


Faith is much like the bus we rode to the resort. A strong faith allows one to travel through the bad times with hope for we know what awaits us. Without a destination or a bus to get you there you are left to meander in the bad. This is the true definition of misery.


In the circles I frequent I interact a lot with people who can only see the sky falling down around us. Pope Francis is the anti-christ who is going to bring about the end of the Church. This bishop is dividing the Church this way or that. The end is near. We’re all doomed.


I don’t know about them but I have read the end of the book. I know who wins. We have been told this sort of thing would happen and not to be taken away by the signs of the times. We are told that Jesus is the head of the body, the Church. He, himself, told us that he would be with us until we reach our destination. If these things are true and I truly believe them then what do I really have to fear? If Jesus is driving the bus and he takes us through bad neighborhoods maybe it is because there is something he wants us to learn. Maybe he wants us to grow to be more than ourselves. Maybe he wants us to change. Throughout all of human history God has used flawed and broken people to bring humanity a little closer to himself.


An angel is a messenger from God. An angel always begins the message they are to deliver in the same way. “Do not be afraid. May the peace of the Lord be with you.”


Hate is driven by fear. Do not be afraid. Jesus is in control and we are on a bus bound for paradise. There will be bad times but they are there to strengthen our faith and bring us closer to God. Trust in the Lord and he will get you safely through the tempest.

MAD Men and the Nuclear Option

It was a beautiful, sunny day. Whips of white clouds hung lazily in the air while people bustled about, oblivious as to what was about to happen.  31,000 feet above them the bomb bay doors opened on Enola Gay. The command was given, Little Boy was released. Forty-three seconds later, at 8:15am on August 6, 1945 the first atomic weapon was detonated above Hiroshima, Japan, a city comprised mostly of civilians.



Three days later, on August 9, 1945 a second atomic weapon, the Fat Man, was dropped on the civilian population of Nagasaki, Japan. The devastating attacks broke the back of the Japanese empire and brought about the end of WWII. Japan surrendered six days after the second bomb was dropped.



This would be the only time that atomic weapons will be used in war. The Allies justified the action with the claim that the number of lives saved on both sides of the war far exceeded that which would have been lost had a long, drawn out ground war on mainland Japan would have taken place.



The attacks gave birth to the nuclear arms race where the United States went head to head against Russia to see who could build the greatest nuclear arsenal the fastest. This in turn gave birth to the concept of mutually assured destruction (MAD). It was the idea that no country would ever use atomic weapons in war because the opposing country would retaliate in kind and there would be mass destruction and death in both countries.  As of the spring of 2019 the world wide inventory of nuclear weapons was known to be just under 14,000 weapons, with more than 90% of those being owned by the United States and Russia.



Hollywood had a hay day with this idea, producing dozens upon dozens of movies about a world pushed to a nuclear war and the aftermath that follows.



Recently, Pope Francis commented that the use of nuclear weapons was an immoral action and must be added to the Catechism of the Catholic Church. He is not the first pope to speak out about nuclear weapons. Saint John Paul the Great and Pope Benedict also have spoken out against nuclear weapons. Pope Francis not only said that the use of nuclear weapons was immoral but that the mere possession of the weapons is just as immoral.



The concept is actually quite easy to understand. If an action is immoral then threatening to do that action to another is just as immoral. Killing is immoral, it is sinful. Threatening to kill another is therefore also immoral and sinful. The act comes with a greater punishment but the threat also has consequences.



War is also bad for it brings with it the death of innocents and brings out the worst in humanity. There is such a thing as a justified war. Deliberately targeting and attacking innocent civilians in a war is never justifiable, even when it saves more lives than it takes. You can never use an evil act to justify stopping a greater evil.



That is the concept Mutually Assured Destruction is based upon. If you destroy my country’s civilian population I will destroy yours. MAD makes the threat of an immoral action, which in itself is an immoral action, to discourage an immoral action. It is a zero sum gain when it comes to eternity. The threat and the action both separate us from God.



Is the United States a moral nation? Most within the United States would like to think so. But how can we be considered moral when we use many immoral means to protect ourselves. A moral nation must lead the world by doing that which is upright and good. Threatening to destroy the world’s population is anything but upright or good.



Perhaps the moral thing to do is to dismantle our nuclear arsenal and show the world that no matter how bad things get between us and our enemies we won’t resort to the mass destruction of innocent civilians. What do we really have to lose by doing this? Do we really have to worry about a country wiping us off the face of the earth in a massive nuclear attack? If Mutually Assured Destruction really works then when there is no worry about retaliatory destruction there is no reason to be armed to retaliate. The opposite of MAD is therefore also true.

“Now what happens?" asked the man in black.
"We face each other as God intended," Fezzik said. "No tricks, no weapons, skill against skill alone."
"You mean you'll put down your rock and I'll put down my sword and we'll try to kill each other like civilized people, is that it?”

Oh if such a world existed.

Modern Idolatry

God created me. He made me a white male with blonde hair and blue eyes. I am of above average stature and efficient at storing excess energy around my waist. He made me who I am. He fashioned me to be pleasing to him. I am to be a good steward of my body, soul, and spirit. I am not to be a good steward to please myself but to give glory to the one who created me.

Idolatry is placing something or someone in the place reserved only for the one who created us. Idolatry comes in many different forms. The original idolatry was committed by Adam and Eve. When the devil offered them the forbidden fruit he told them that it would make them like God. They could become gods themselves. That was their desire when they ate of the fruit.

It does not matter how close a people are to God. Idolatry is always present whether the people are aware of it or not. After God had freed the Jewish people from pharaoh they made a golden calf to worship. Idolatry is alive and well and taking on new forms today. God made me with blonde hair and blue eyes but I can change both of those if I am not happy with what he gave me. Today, a person can even change the appearance of their gender through hormone therapy and reassignment surgery. We no longer give the glory of creation to God but put ourselves first by choosing that which appeals to us instead.

Sometimes idolatry comes in forms so common we never even notice it. On Sundays during football season there will always be people showing off their pride for their favorite team by proudly wearing their jerseys to Mass. Seems innocent enough but we gather at Mass to worship God, not our favorite teams. Many of us plan our entire Sunday around, not our worship of God, rest, or communion with our families, but a sporting event. The purpose for which the Sabbath was created is put second to our love for a game, a team, or one of its members. It may not be Idolatry with a capital I but it is idolatry just the same. Think of it along the same lines as mortal and venial sin. Venial sins build upon themselves and make it much easier to make the jump to mortal sin.

I am going to steal from a homily my pastor gave a few weeks ago. Close your eyes and try to imagine what heaven is like. Are you in a beautiful place? Are you surrounded by all of your loved ones that have passed on before you? Are you in great health, looking the best you have ever have? Are you at a banquet with all of your favorite foods? What do you see when you think of heaven?

No open your eyes and remember what you saw in your vision of heaven. Look around it. Did you see Jesus there with you among the beauty and family? If you didn’t see Jesus in your vision of heaven you were not in heaven. No matter how beautiful your vision, without Christ you are in hell. Jesus is heaven. Heaven is the place reserved for the most sacred union between God and his children.

What do you place before God in your life? Where do you put your desires over his? What reasons do you use to miss attending Mass? What idols do you worship?

Cost, Worth, and Value

Every created object and action has a cost, a value, and a worth. These three things change drastically depending on the situation. Take for example a cup of water. When drawn from my facet it is virtually free. It is readily available and easily obtained. Supply is not lacking. It is not something I put a great deal of worth into. That same cup of water has infinite value to a man dying of thirst in the desert. Its worth is literally life itself. The man would be willing to pay any price to obtain it.

There was a time when I kept a great deal of plants in my lab at work. The outside wall of my lab was a south facing window. Even during the dreary days of winter my plants got plenty of sun. Each Friday I would water my plants before leaving for the weekend. The city water had a great amount of chlorine in it so I watered my plants using the bottled water the company provided for the employees to drink. One day I got a new coworker from French Congo in Africa. Friday came around and I watered my plants as I had done for years. My new coworker stood with his mouth agape and his eyes wide open. I asked him what was wrong.


In his village in Africa clean water was nonexistent. The local water source provided all of the water they used to drink, cook, and wash with. It was also their sewer system. Contaminated water is one of the largest causes of death in this world. Over 80% of disease in developing countries is caused by contaminated water. This man knew a value of water that I did not have. Back home his family didn’t have clean water to drink and here I am dumping purified, filtered water on plants. To him it was akin to giving dogs the remainder of a barely touched seven course meal while starving children looked on.


A great deal of time and effort has been spent over the past forty years to bolster our children’s self esteem. When I was a child, only the winning team got a trophy. For a child that trophy had infinite worth for we all knew the sacrifice it took to earn it. Modern thought is that we want every child to feel like a winner. In the formation years of sports we no longer keep score at the games and everybody gets a trophy for just showing up. Kids are not taught disappointment or how to act gracefully when they lose. Trophies have become much like the water from my faucet. Today, we are pushing the envelope with this ideology by demanding that children be allowed to choose their gender for themselves. Many believe that the ultimate expression of self worth is an ability to choose for ourselves something that we have no choice over. Boys do not become girls just because that is what they want to or feel that is what they are. Boys do not become girls through hormone treatments or reassignment surgeries. The current suicide rate for a pretreatment transgender is about 50%. The suicide rate post treatment is also almost 50%. Changing our outward appearance does not seem to change one’s self worth.


As Catholics we often confuse the words worth and worthy. Each Mass, before communion we restate the words of the centurion.

                “Lord, I am not worthy that you enter under my roof but only say the word and I will be   healed.”

We are not worthy of the Lord’s love for us but that does not mean that we are worthless. Each and every person is of infinite worth for we have been bought and paid for by the blood of God. Even the smallest drop of Christ’s blood is worth more than all of creation throughout time. And he did not give just the smallest drop of blood for us. He gave all of his blood for us. Our worth to him was so infinitely great that he willfully gave up everything in heaven and earth so that we may live with him.

This brings us to value. Value is the equation of worth divided by cost. Things of high worth and little cost are of great value. Things of little worth and high cost have little value. Jesus paid an infinite cost for us but he holds us with an infinite worth. So what value do we have for him? God has left the answer to that question up to us.


The more you live your life for Jesus the more value you bring to his purchase. The Saints in heaven, especially the martyrs, have an infinite value for they are the fulfillment of Christ’s infinite purchase. So it is only natural to think that the souls in hell have no value but this would be an incorrect thought. Even those in hell bring value to Jesus’ purchase. Love cannot be forced. For love to exist there has to be a choice. For love to exist we need to be able to choose something other than love. God is love and hell is the eternal separation from that love. The value of those in hell is that they are proof that love exists. For that we can be grateful.


When Jesus purchased us at the cost of his own blood he did not make a onetime purchase. He made an investment in heaven. Investments are expected to grow, to increase their value. Our time on earth is given to us for precisely that purpose. We are expected to increase our value. We increase our value the more we live our lives for Jesus. We increase our value the more we grow in holiness.

How are you growing in holiness? How are you increasing your value for Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice? 

Doctor of the Soul

Five years ago I had open heart surgery. I had a quintuple bypass to open up a heart that was blocked at over 90%. My heart did not get that way over night and it did not happen without my knowledge. I had the usual symptoms that go with such blockages. I couldn’t climb a flight of stairs or walk through an airport without shortness of breath and my chest tightening up. I had minor chest pain and irregular rhythms all the time.


But I am a guy. Guys believe that if you ignore something long enough that it will fix itself and go away. I was also young and invincible. I didn’t need a doctor. Fortunately for me, things got bad enough that I did go see my doctor. He sent me straight in for an angiogram and ten minutes into that I was informed that open heart bypass was my only option. I was literally a heart beat from death.

Sin does to the soul what a clogged heart does to the body. Both will surely kill a person, but death from a clogged soul is far worse than just bodily death. The punishment for grave sin is eternal.


The good news is that, just as my doctor was standing by to fix my heart, there are doctors standing by to help repair the soul. They are called priests and the operation is called the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Jesus gave his authority to forgive sins to the Twelve, who in turn passed that authority along to their replacements. Every priest has that authority. Through the Sacrament of Reconciliation Jesus uses the priest to clean a soul once clogged with sin.

“God, the Father of mercies,
through the death and the resurrection of his Son
has reconciled the world to himself
and sent the Holy Spirit among us
for the forgiveness of sins;
through the ministry of the Church
may God give you pardon and peace,
and I absolve you from your sins

in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”

This is the prayer of absolution. It is the most powerful prayer a man can say, second only to the prayer of consecration. Through this prayer a priest, by the authority of Jesus, can grant absolution to sin and restore a soul to the state of Grace, the state it was in after a person was baptized.


Non-Catholic Christians do not have this Sacrament. They don’t believe it is necessary. Jesus died for our sins and so they are automatically forgiven. There is nothing anyone has to do to be forgiven. The problem with this belief is that it removes free will. The only sin that will not be forgiven is the one we do not wish to receive forgiveness for. Through Jesus’ public ministry we see him forgive sins. Each time he begins by asking the person what they wish him to do. He knows they need forgiveness but he does not automatically give it. He waits for them to ask for mercy.


God respects the free will he gives to us. If we do not ask him to forgive our sins and heal our souls he won’t do it even though he can. God sends no person to hell. We choose to go there when we choose something over his love for us.

Lines to receive our Lord in the Eucharist are long. Lines in front of the confessional are virtually nonexistent. Priests spend hours alone in the confessional waiting for people to come and be healed. There is little surprise then that recent polls tell us that 7 out of 10 people no longer believe that Jesus is present in the Eucharist. If Jesus is not in the Eucharist then there is no real reason to receive absolution of our sins is there? Our non-Catholic Christian brothers have no need for it so why should we?


Had I continued to deny that I was having heart problems much longer it would have ended in my death. Continuing to deny that our souls are in need of forgiveness will end in our damnation. Death is the doorway through with every man must pass regardless of his status or lot in life. Passing through that door with the stain of mortal sin leads straight to hell.

Doctors are standing by. 

It all begins by simply saying, “Forgive me Father for I have sinned.”

Nothing but a Thing

Faith is a thing. Church is a thing. Prayers are things. Most people have lives that are too full of things. Many have no room to add another. It becomes easy to give up church, a thing, for something like football, a thing that seems to give more enjoyment. One of the reasons people fall away from a faith filled life is because it is nothing more than an unused thing, like that treadmill collecting dust in the corner. A thing unused is a thing unwanted.


Christianity was never meant to be a thing. Christianity is a relationship. It is a friendship with the second person of the Holy Trinity, the person of Jesus. Jesus is an actual living, breathing person. He is not a concept or someone living in a distant place that we never see. He is an intimate part of every person. He should be the one we have the closest relationship with. Yet, too many of us don’t know him.


In my former life as a sailor I used to observe other sailors calling their loved ones from the pay phone on the pier. It would not be uncommon to see one of them just stand with the phone to their ear, not saying a word, for hours on end. Words were not needed. Just being connected to someone they loved at the other end of the line was all that was necessary. The phone was nothing but a thing that connected them together. Because it did it was something of great value.


The things of our religious life, our faith, going to Mass, saying prayers, are much like that phone. When we have a love relationship with Jesus those are the things that keep us connected. Because they keep us connected we treasure them.


It is my estimation that this is the real reason so many leave the faith. We teach them the rules of the faith. We take them to church. We get them to memorize the prayers. We tell them all about Jesus. At the end of the day they have a lot of knowledge but no relationship. It is like being forced to learn the rules of baseball without having a desire to watch a game. Avid baseball fans fall in love with the game first and then try to learn as much about it as they can. Modern evangelization goes about it backwards. We teach as much as we can about Jesus in the hope that one will come to have a relationship with him and love him. Sure, that works for some who were open and searching for the relationship to begin with. It doesn’t work so well for those who have no interest.


When you express your faith do you talk about the things used for the connection or do you talk about the person you are in love with? If you were to talk to one of those sailors as they left the phone booth on the pier they would tell you all about their loved one. They would tell you how beautiful that person was and how much they loved said person. Not one of the sailors would mention the cold, black, plastic phone with the shiny, square buttons. That should be a clue to us on how we should express our faith with others. When we talk to others about our faith do we talk about how beautiful our church is, our great our Mass is, or the prayers we pray every day? Without a relationship with Jesus they become nothing more but trivial, empty things. When we get someone interested in establishing a friendship with Jesus those things become treasured means of connection and communication.

Where Mary was the Church is.

Where Mary was the Church is.


Where was Mary? She stood at the foot of the cross while her son paid the price of sin for all humanity.


I have stood alongside Mary at the foot of the cross on Calvary. I have seen the Lord upon the cross and I have participated in his crucifixion.


The latest polls tell us that seven out of ten people who call themselves Catholic no longer believe in the real presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. Even sadder is the number of clergy who no longer believe in the real presence.


For them, the Mass has ceased to be the Sacrifice and has become a service, a memorial, or a recreation. It is just something you have to go do on Sunday, if you can get yourself out of bed to go. It is something your parents drag you to. It is something your aging grandmother believes in like magic. Oh if she could only get with the times. For far too many Mass has become anything but what it truly is.


We are a modern, enlightened people. We believe in science and everything we see on Oprah. We have lost sense of the supernatural around us. Obi Won said it best, “It surrounds us, it penetrates us, it binds us all together.” Ok, maybe old Ben wasn’t talking about the supernatural but he was accurate in describing the supernatural.


The supernatural is real even if we cannot see it. If more people could see the reality of the Mass we would not have enough room in our Churches to fit everyone who wanted to be present for it. Mass acts as a conduit between time, space, the natural, and the supernatural. It is called the Sacrifice of the Mass for that very reason. Through the Mass we are transported to the foot of the cross on Calvary to stand with Mary, John, and all of the angels and saints throughout all time to be part of the single greatest act of love that will ever take place. This is not a re-creation. It is not symbolism. It is not metaphor. It is reality. It is a reality veiled to our human eyes because to see it removes all doubt. It ceases to be a matter of faith and becomes a matter of knowledge.


Remember this at Mass when you are sitting there and find yourself bored, mind adrift to meaningless things. Remember this when you are not fully present because you are thinking about that Facebook post or something a family member did to upset you. Remember this when you show up to Mass in flip flops, shorts, and a T-shirt. You are not only in the presence of all God’s creation, his angels and saints, and all of your loved ones who preceded you. You are in the presence of Christ upon the cross who died to redeem all humanity. In that moment where heaven touches earth upon the altar Jesus comes off of his cross and becomes fully present in the Eucharistic bread offered as our sacrifice to God.


Seven out of ten practicing Catholics no longer believe what they cannot see before them. As for me, I will stand with Mother Mary on Calvary, first weeping, then rejoicing as the resurrected Lord comes to me and says, “Take and eat. This is my body which was given up for you.”

Called to Love

I had just landed at O’Hare, returning from a recent business trip. I thought I would grab a coffee for my bus ride home so I headed to the Starbucks by baggage claim. There I was approached by a young lady. She wasn’t very attractive. She had a strong, square jaw and an Adam’s apple. It really came as no surprise when the first thing she said to me was, “So, I just came out as trans to my family and my parents didn’t take it well.”


The thing that was most apparent to me was the pain behind her eyes. I sensed a good soul, but one in great turmoil. The people who should have loved her the most rejected her as an abomination, as so many in our society do. She was kicked out of her home and was trying to make her way to live with an aunt and uncle in Colorado. She had next to nothing. She was alone and she was terrified.

At that moment I was presented with a choice. I could avoid this person the best I could. I could wave her off, get my coffee, and rush off to catch my bus. I could be the priest or the Levite and walk on the other side of the road to avoid a beaten traveler. I am sure she was used to people reacting to her that way.


Or, I could be the Samaritan and show compassion to someone in need. The key word in that sentence is “someone”. This was a person, a person with dignity. Dignity is God’s thumbprint on the human soul. Then I thought of the woman at the well. Did Jesus avoid her or did her treat her with dignity?


I don’t normally carry cash so I couldn’t help with her getting through the day or getting that flight to Colorado. But I could buy her some coffee and something to eat. More importantly I could treat her like a person and not as something repulsive.


“Lord, use me as an instrument of your will. Use me as an empty vessel, a lantern, to carry the light of your love to those still in darkness.” This is part of my prayers after receiving the Eucharist. The Lord was going to take me to task on this.


I took the time to have a conversation with her. She got to share some of her sorrow. She gave me a hug and we went our separate ways. I would like to think we both profited from the exchange. My biggest mistake was in not remembering my cardinal rule. I didn’t ask her for her name. Our names define us. It is important to ask for a name. It is one way in which we recognize a person’s dignity and recognize them as a person.


Transgenderism is the hot topic these days. Those who support it consider it this generation’s civil rights fight. Those who oppose it find it silly in the least and downright repugnant, worthy of death, at the extreme. As I sat waiting for my bus I questioned why anyone would choose to put themselves through this. Then, in his usual way, the Holy Spirit offered an answer. They are simply trying to feel whole in the only way they know how.


People with gender dysphoria absolutely believe that they are living in the wrong body. The source of these feelings does not really matter. They are presented with a multitude of choices, none easy to live with; deny it, hide it, accept it, embrace it, attempt to rectify it, flaunt it, bear it, or end it. Which one can truly make them happy? Which one can make them feel whole? What if none of them can?


As Christians we believe that we all have crosses that we are to bear. We would see gender dysphoria as one such cross. There is a belief that one should embrace this cross and stay true to God’s commandments and the natural law. That is impossible for even those with the strongest faith to do let alone someone who has no faith or has never had a personal relationship with Jesus. Each responds to the cross they are given in the ways they know how. For some the only way they can find is to try to become that which they think they are.


Jesus did not command me to love only the perfect, sinless people. He did not command me to love only those who sin the way I do. He commanded me to love everyone in the way God loves me.

It is often said that the Church loves the sinner but hates the sin. It is true that all sin is bad. We are also told not to judge the sinner but only the sin. Judgment of the person is reserved to God alone. Judgment of the sin can only be done with full knowledge of all of the circumstances of the action. Who among us can claim to have such knowledge?


The Pharisees had knowledge that the woman had committed adultery. She had been caught in the act. The Law was clear on what her punishment had to be; death. Yet the just judge gave her mercy and compassion. Only he knew all the circumstances. Only he knew her heart.


How often do we become like the Pharisees and judge a person, like the woman at the airport, based solely on what we see? I do not know the circumstances of her life that led her to make the decisions she has made. I know neither her heart nor where the road she is on leads. Only the just judge knows these things. He did not relegate judgment of that person to me. He has only commanded me to love her has he has loved me.


Try to remember this when you look upon someone who has same-sex attraction, who is transgendered, a pedophile, or who is different than you. God has given them dignity. He loves them and he wants us to love them as well. When you can see Jesus dwelling in another first and foremost is when you can truly begin to love a person without reserve. That is the only thing that can begin to heal this broken world in which we live.